Gender Roles are not for the Homonormative

Have you ever wondered why both men and women are taught to behave a certain way, that differs from their counterpart. In the society we live in, gender roles have a huge influence on the way individuals socially interact with one another - and we think absolutely nothing of it. We also believe to this day, men are supposed to be the ones who initiate everything and take charge - from basic conversations to dates and to marriage proposals. Women on the other hand are supposed to be passive and wait for the men - wait for them to text back, pay for the entire bill, and bring home the income. I know many individuals, both men and women, who are outraged at the fact that these gender roles are still in place but as I stated before, these constructs are so instilled in our heads that we think nothing of it. Now what if I were to take it one step further and say that these same roles do not apply to homosexual couples.

I know we discussed this briefly in class but, I really encourage readers to see things through my perspective. Now that you are self-consciously aware of how gender roles play out, when was the last time you looked at a homosexual couple and thought “I wonder who is the man and who is the woman in the relationship?” This drives me absolutely crazy when people assume that gay relationships are modeled after the same principles of straight couples. I understand that most of the time, individuals are not as in-the-know with the gay culture therefore it creates some sort of curiosity to how things work. But it is amazing how even in the San Francisco Bay, people are not as aware.

It seems as though the media only augments gay couples that have someone who is feminine paired up with someone who is masculine. Despite the gradual progression we have made for civil rights, we still live in a heteronormative society. I believe that is why people still try to mirror gay couples with straight couples. The media only displays a limited representation of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) community. But much like the rainbow, the LGBTQ community is not only filled with a colorful culture but a diverse group of people as well.

Being part of the LGTBQ community, I always get questions from people regarding relationships and how they are formed. One can take it as offensive to be asked some of the questions that I have gotten but I take it as a great opportunity to educate them on how different it is from straight couples or even just to be more politically correct. People have asked “So, who asks who on a date” or “who pays for the date?” I respond and say “well we actually take turns when it comes to jumping the gun but we don’t sit there and say ‘okay it’s your turn to ask me’ that’s just silly.” After all, if you strongly admire someone wouldn’t you want to take the chance to talk to them?  As for paying the expenses, again it is a mutual thing and you just jump in on it. Sometimes you pay in full, other times you split it, and the rest of the time you don’t pay at all - it’s a respect thing to me.

Now for those brave souls, they usually will ask how it works intimately or in simpler terms “who is pitcher and who is catcher?” Well that in itself forms a completely different conversation that should be discussed elsewhere.